Sunday, January 17, 2016

Day 16: Friend Zoned

When you don't call out sexism in gaming culture because you're afraid of the social repercussion it'll cause, then feel like a shitty person because you take the abuse instead of doing something about it.

Article about plus size female dancers. The title says they're smashing stages across the country. A bunch of men in the comments make fat girls breaking stages jokes.

Pink border around white, with black text: "I think the reason why the phrase 'I'm not like most girls' annoys me so much is because women have been conditioned to feel like they have to dissociate themselves from the female gender to be recognized as an interesting human being--and if that isn't fucked up I don't know what is."

A dear friend feels saddened that she's not easy going enough to ignore sexism in her friends, which means she doesn't have as good a time as she could.

A gaming organizer I'm required to work with won't answer emails from women, we have to get a male to email him.

I ask for songs about a vampire. I get a number of songs about stalking and creepy behaviour, almost all of them from the POV of a man.

Buffy Sainte-Marie says "it's gonna take a lot of working on this issue, because it's a very very deep thing. It has to do with how we raise our sons, what we praise people for, and goddamn alcohol" about the roots of violence against women.

A friend spends the weekend in a cottage with 9 other people, 8 of them male. They are all gamers. Her in words: "The amount of sexism is crazy."

Woman posts an honest picture of her acne. People add a cruel phrase to the picture and spread it everywhere.

A video on how "real" women have curves.

An article on reasons to like Ellen Degeneres. My mom still hates her because of a beauty commercial she did where she said "Your outside beauty matters just as much as your inside beauty."

Shark Tank female contestants get less money, just like all women. "Women entrepreneurs who appear on ABC’s Shark Tank experience the same kind of unfair gender bias as they do in real-life Silicon Valley. Female contestants on the hit reality show receive fewer investments than male contestants do.
According to Mashable, when they do get money, female-fronted companies receive significantly lower valuations than businesses headed by men. According to data compiled by Rock Health CEO Halle Tecco, male founders received an average valuation of nearly $1.7 million, while women founders received an average of just over $781,000."
"You don't look like a feminist."

Picture of a face: "His opinion doesn't define you."

My province is trying to fight sexual harassment. It does this by posting pictures with text. This one is of a bill. It says "I'll pay for dinner but I expect you to return the favour at my place." In very tiny print at the bottom it continues: "If it's not okay to say out loud, it's not okay to do. Stop sexual harassment." 

Man on streetcar doesn't move his legs which are in the isle. Even when it's getting crowded.

A woman writes: "I just got home after a long day. Thirty minutes ago, I stopped in a gas station for some Tylenol and gum. As soon as I walked in, the clerk said, "Hey sweetheart." When I went to the counter to pay, he said, "You gotta give me a smile if you want this," and hid my gum away in his hand. "No thanks," I told him. "I'll just have the gum." He didn't ring up my gum and instead grumbled under his breath and lectured me about having a bad attitude."

The Mockingjay stickers include one of a male with "friend zoned" as text overtop.
A client discusses the Olympic symbol for LA's games. Described as a tinker bell mud flap babe angel with lights coming from her nipples.Today, old white entitled guy decided that he could block the way, & interrupt my work to ask me a question that was already answered.A tweet that reads: "Ya'll don't know how much the women in your life hold their tongues to preserve your ego."A tumblr talking about Dude as a gender neutral term. A bunch of guys on it say yes, it's gender neutral.In the 2005 deposition, Bill Cosby admitted to buying quaaludes "with the intent of giving them to young women he wanted to have sex with.”"Emmy-award winning writer Steven Moffat encourages and participates in rape culture by blaming women when men ogle them and making light of sexual assault. "
"Emmy-award winning writer Steven Moffat says bisexuals are too busy having sex to watch television, and therefore don’t need representing."
"Emmy-award winning writer Steven Moffat thinks asexuals are too boring to write about."Four female children on bicycles. They have sunshine on their back. The text says: "Here's to the girls who grew up playing in dirt, ran outside barefoot and weren't afraid to be one of the boys!"Image of a woman behind a pharmacy counter. The text reads: "Then the girl at the counter told me I didn't need birth control because I was married."A white dude talks about the not-rape of the minor Bowie had sex with. And that calling her a victim makes you the rapist. A white dude friend likes the article.A friend posts that he finally found Rey at Barnes & Noble as a bookmark.Turns out the creator of Cards Against Humanity was accused of raping a girl. His response? I didn't rape her but may have felt that way and I'm sorry if she did. So basically he admits something happened and even if she perceived it as rape he didn't so it's not rape."What will always get you laid?"
"Date rape." 
Brought to you by cards against humanity. still think it's cool? One article described it as hipster racism. The box doesn't lie. It actually makes you an awful person I don't want to know.A friend and I discuss catcalling. She mentions she has been cat called with her husband present and he has told men off because of it.I dress very dumpy deliberately. I also don't wear low cut shirts anymore. I often cut my hair short. All because I hate the random strangers harassing me.A post describing what it's like to be a woman and deal with catcalls. Men in the comments defend catcalling.A man approaches me. I ignore him. He talks to me. I continue to ignore him. He puts his face in front of mine forcing me to stop what I'm doing. He wins.Today in game: I've been playing a powerful and kinda no-fucks-given vampire (female). I've been working on playing the stereotypical male vampire stalker type but flipped. Up until now she's had all the power and all the glee in her killing sprees. Today, her mortal lover became a ghoul, who fed on terror. He deliberately took actions to scare her to feed himself. The event was well played on all sides and was instantly triggering from past abusive relationships. (A note to my friend playing the ghoul, you were awesome, don't stop, I'm just reflecting.) It made me pause and think I didn't want to play the character anymore because having her power taken from her like that was stark and cold and so upsetting and terrifying on so many different levels. It's that moment when you know he's not the guy you thought he was. The moment when he hits you the first time or he calls you stupid or a whore for the first time. It was that moment mirrored in ghouls and vampires. Such a great game. Such a shitty sexist world.

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