Friday, March 18, 2016

Day 76: Maybe a bikini isn't for you

"It's so pathetic how guys have no problem asking for nudes. And when you don't they get mad and call you a bitch " 

"I think people have taken the "rape culture" thing to far. If a guy wolf whistles at a girl, girls will cry "discrimination!!! Sexual harassment! Rape culture!!!" No. If a guy wolf whistles you its probably just him either wanting the girl to know that he finds her attractive or he's just an ass who's trying to get his rocks off. Get. Over. It. "

"A single person is not "rape culture" get over yourselves."

"Rape culture only exists within the Feminist world. In the real world where grownups reside, we accept that rape is part of the evil in this world and you have to make an effort to prevent it, just as you would other evils like murder, robbery, ect."

"If you're 200 lbs maybe a bikini isnt' for you"

A man playing a female in game today had his female character say "I'm having feminine problems" to try to get out of a situation. (to be fair, he called himself on it within a second)A man playing a female in game today had his female character say "I'm having feminine problems" to try to get out of a situation. (to be fair, he called himself on it within a second)

"My vagina was cut three times" a woman talks about nonconsensual surgery in birth.

Chicago ends tampon tax

A man asks me for the address to the hotel. I tell him to check the website. He tells me he doesn't trust websites. I don't respond. He then emails me the website to tell me he found it for me.

Ad for sexy bikinis.

A woman giving the middle finger when told to smile more.

Picture of a woman. "I don't wear makeup because I'd rather a guy be shocked i put it on then be shocked when I take it off."

An article on technology, like phones, being designed bigger and bigger and how it's designed for men, so women can't use it as easily.

A transgender woman talks about being severely beaten at work.

Tweet: "The 'hey ma, that sundress make yo booty look...fuck you then bitch, actin like you ain't hear me, you ugly anyways' weather is approaching"

An article on the survivors of wartime rape refusing to be silent.

A quote by Carrie Fisher saying youth and beauty aren't accomplishments and people need to stop saying if she's aged well or not.

A woman writes: "I get a little cranky when someone who means nothing to me inboxes me when I'm almost sleeping and starts asking about my body parts." 

Judging other women for doing things considered unfeminist, like shaving or wearing makeup, instead of supporting choice.

A friend tells me: "I got told, after telling a guy that complimenting my hair and smile would (1) not get me to sign his position and (2) was sexist, that it was just a compliment, and I should thank him for it" 

A white dude tells me I'm wrong about what is and isn't sexist. Because women can be sexist against men. 

A woman yells at a cop not to hurt her. Men laugh at her.

A man yells at and humiliates a woman on the streetcar. Everyone laughs. It's st Patrick's day. The day of drunk assholes.

Tumblr: Rape is the only crime on the books for which arguing that the temptation to commit it was too clear and obvious to resist is treated as a defence. For every other crime, we call that a confession. 

Gail Simone says a man explains who Deadpool is to her, a woman who helped write the comic.

Day 75: Women, you have to treat them like shit

"'Cause hypocrite to me is spelled c-u-n-t" 

When allies proclaim that men can't be feminist and still participate in sexist culture while still actively participating in sexist culture.

"An image shared by Royal Brunei’s Instagram account in February shows the airline’s first all-female flight crew sitting in the cabin of a Boeing 787 Dreamliner. Royal Brunei announced the introduction of its first all-female flight crew, making it the latest in a string of airlines to mark the milestone.
However, it wasn’t just the pilots’ sex that brought attention: It was where they were flying to.
At the time the photograph was taken, Capt. Sharifah Czarena and her two female first officers were about to fly from Brunei to Jiddah, the second-largest city in Saudi Arabia — a country where women are not allowed to drive."

Image of a black with purple space bedspread and pillows. Text: "Not sure if cool space bed or Kim Kardashian's bed under black light."

Donald Trump: "Women, you have to treat them like shit."

Girl learns she can get the guy as long as she fundamentally changes all her core values

"A man was hitting on me outside my therapy office, kept calling me red (my hair was red at the time) he said he likes redheads because they are wild. I told him I was also attracted to red headed women, he did not relent until I mentioned I have a boyfriend. This shows that men respect another man's property more than they respect women."

Java Script for Ladies. Where it dumbs down the language so even we can understand it. 

A friend posts: "Men's day: March 19th. I scoffed ate the news and the guys were like, why shouldn't we have men's day if you get to have March 8th."

Drow: A society of powerful, dominant, matriarchal women.

An article in Psychology Today on how women advancing in the psychology field is hurting men, and now men are having a hard time finding science about men.

A female GM said to me that she loves how inclusive TAG is, because it makes running things in a public setting feel safe. 

A woman talks about how the X-Card makes her feel safe in gaming.

"I'm not alone as a woman experiencing judgment and scrutiny for her husband's sexual crimes. Camille Cosby has had to comment publicly on the assault allegations against her husband, Bill Cosby, and was subpoenaed in the defamation lawsuit that's currently being brought against him. (A judge ended up ruling that she does not have to testify, though that could change.) With Hillary Clinton running for president again, her husband's past rape and sexual harassment allegations are being brought back to the surface. No matter what these women's private, emotional journeys are, their reactions and decisions will be public."

"Under Obamacare, women don't have to pay for birth control, right? Not exactly. The Affordable Care Act only got rid of copay on birth control for newer insurance plans and certain methods. For example, if you prefer the NuvaRing to the pill (which many do, because you have to remember it once a month rather than once a day and it has fewer side effects than the pill), you're probably out of luck. Under most plans, it's a "preferred brand" that costs $15-50 per month in copay." 

"Women currently don't have a legal basis to argue for upholding the rights they currently have or gaining the ones they lack because the Equal Rights Amendment to the Constitution, first proposed almost a century ago in 1923, has yet to pass. Currently, the government is not allowed to pass laws or make rulings that treat citizens differently by race or religion, but they're still allowed to do so with gender."

"It's technically illegal for states to completely ban abortion, thanks to SCOTUS's 1973 Roe v. Wade decision (which, by the way, Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz will try to find a way around if elected, and which Donald Trump has also condemned). But that hasn't stopped them from restricting it tremendously. Mississippi, Missouri, North Dakota, South Dakota, and Wyoming each have only one abortion clinic, and a law is currently in effect that will leave only one abortion clinic standing in Louisiana as well. On a federal level, the Hyde Amendment prevents government insurance plans from covering abortions. As a consequence, the Guttmacher Institute estimates that 18 to 37 percent of women on Medicaid have given birth against their will because they couldn't afford abortions."

"Thanks to the Family and Medical Leave Act of 1993, women are now at least guaranteed three months of maternity leave during their child's first year — but if they choose to take it, it could come at the cost of supporting that child, because those three months are unpaid. Right now, the United States is one of only three countries in the world that don't make companies provide paid maternity leave. The other two are Papa New Guinea and Oman."

"That was the beginning of the most horrifying three months of my life. Oliver drove to the Kansas City airport, where he held a concealed knife to my back as we boarded a plane for Houston. There, we stayed in two different seedy hotels before settling into a Days Inn near the airport. That's where I remained — most of the time locked inside a room — for the next 101 days. And almost every day, my captor forced me to have sex with him."

"Locked in a hotel room with an abusive man for more than three months, Jessyca Mullenberg actually forgot who she was."

"Republican women have a message for Donald Trump: Enough with Bill Clinton’s sex scandals.
It’s not that they’re waving Trump off the issue to help Democratic front-runner Hillary Clinton. On the contrary, they’re worried that the more Trump talks about a troubled period of the Clintons’ marital history, the more likely it could backfire and rally indep

A friend and I discuss how our mothers think it's normal that men will hurt us if we call them on sexism. So much so that our mothers have both warned us to be careful. That's their world. It's normal for a man to shoot a woman for being vocal.

A client talks about how women are expected to leave law practice to have children.

A friend further talks about the D&D 5th Ed Adventurer's League Strad adventure treatment of women: "Pretty much every female character they mentioned as major NPC figures fell into what I'd deem a horribly gendered trope."

A friend talks about the Strahd adventure set for Adventurer's League in D&D 5th Ed. " I kind of felt frustrated by the overall plot construction of the major women in it. I get they're pulling from Gothic horror but... descriptions like "X is a broken woman who lost her child... and wants to make a new one" kind of made me go "really!?""

The man who hacked celebrities accounts to leak nude photos has reached a plea deal.
So we can find this guy but not all the people threatening to rape and murder women in gaming?

"How many times can you justify rape in a TV series and still call yourself a feminist?"
Fucking this.

Spending the morning arguing about Game of Thrones. The best is still "That's what history was like!"

A woman in a wielding mask holds a sign that says: "I need feminism because 'who hired a stripper' shouldn't be the first thing said when I'm at a wielding job."

Tumblr: "Feminism didn't teach me to hate men, but it did teach me to stop prioritizing them over women. And it turns out a lot of men think that's the same thing as hatred."

Tumblr: "Men who slam doors and furniture are making sure you hear how much they want to hit you."

Thursday, March 17, 2016

Day 74: Not just a pretty face

Tweet: "Fun game: refer to it clunkily as 'man-explaining' until a guy snaps and corrects you.

A man says that a book I'm reading, which talks about the stats on men lying more than women and with more devastating effect, is sexist. 

Having a great conversation on the impact of toxic masculinity with my partner.

A friend writes a review on the sexist undertones of Zootopia.

About consent: "Consent: when she said yes but mars was in retrograde so it didn't count." A dude writes.

Tweet: Men be like "men r more logical & clear headed than women but we can't help but harass y'all cause we're not logical or clear headed."

Tweet: "An ex once told me that if a service appears to be free of charge for you to use, it's because you're the product. Example: club ladies' nights."

On a pillow: "If a woman is upset, hold her and tell her how beautiful she is. If she starts to growl, retreat to a safe distance and throw chocolate at her."

A man on equal pay: "If more women applied for sewage technicians and trash collectors, I'm pretty sure they'd get paid the same as blokes. But no, it seems the only gripe about equal pay and employment is all about white collar cushy jobs. Go figure."

Mansplainer ruins woman's experience writing for convention. No one is surprised. 

Talking about my childhood experience with my partner, I mention how at dinner time my dad would just storm away if he was angry, and I was afraid of how I ate because I'd get yelled at for how it sounded.

That time men in RPG business wouldn't reply to me because of my gender? Yeah. That time. 

A man says to me "Oh, my god. You're a girl and you game? That's hot."

"You're not just a pretty face, huh?" No. I'm not. 

Father posed as teenage boy on instagram to lure his own daughter into sending nude photos.

The Taming of the Shrew

"He's gonna be such a heart breaker." "What a lady killer!" Sexualizing infants. Wee. 

27 big movies of 2016 you can't miss!
Mostly all guys. Zoolander has a girl whose boob is being grabbed. Batman vs Superman has wonder woman but, y'know, in less clothes than everyone else. And Zootopia doesn't show the girl bunny. Just the fox. Even though the girl bunny is the main character. X-men has Psylocke, in, you know, her original skin revealing outfit. Dory, I guess she's a girl. Tarazan is sniffing Jane's hair from behind her. Ghostbusters. Suicide squad has Harley Quinn. Inferno has a woman beside Tom Hanks whom isn't mentioned in the blurb. Fantastic Beasts and where to find them has a woman in the background. Moana is in her own cover, although beside a giant dude who takes up 3/4 of the screen space. Rogue Wars has an ensemble cast, but female appears to be the main central one. Passengers, the final movie, has Jennifer Lawrence and a dude in it.Less than half these movies have women in the posters. Only one of them has all women.

Joke about how Black Widow is the only one without armour.

Dude: "What does black widow actually bring to the team?"

Man answers the question of what Black Widow brings to the team: "Titties"

About Black Widow: "finally a post that show that black widow is like hawkeye!!!!
Actually hawkeye is more usefull than her"

Bad bitch.

March against Ghomeshi

Tweet: Boy: what that mouth do?
me: complain, eat, address social injustices and preach gender inequality.

Caption at the top: "That's not what girls mouths are for ;)"

“Caste Hindu women, who love or marry a Dalit are murdered by their family members. On the other hand Dalit women, who marry caste Hindu men, are ditched due to societal pressure. Almost 84 per cent of Dalit women, who are into inter-caste marriage face humiliation due to marital discord,” said Kathir.

"India's 'Abused Goddesses' campaign condemns crimes against women.
The images were commissioned by Save the Children India’sSave our Sisters campaign. Its work is focused on eliminating the trafficking of young girls and women in India. Save commissioned Taproot India to put the campaign together.
There were nearly 250,000 reported crimes against women in India last year. The Abused Goddesses campaign shows photographs of models as figures like Saraswati."

"A Jezebel analysis of campaign finance data has found that of the six active presidential campaigns, four have significant gender wage disparities. Most notably, Ted Cruz’s campaign on average pays male staffers $20,000 more than female staffers, and of the ten highest paid staffers on Bernie Sanders’ campaign, not a single one is a woman."

"At the end of January, Elizabeth May Davidson, a 26-year-old Iowa field organizer for Donald Trump, filed a discrimination complaint against the campaign for a workplace that was hostile to women: she alleged the campaign regularly paid men more than women for the same jobs, allowed men to take on a more significant role in producing rallies, and that the first time she met Trump, he made a comment about her appearance."

"South Sudan’s soldiers have been allowed to rape and enslave women in lieu of collecting their salaries, according to a new UN report." 

Day 73: She's probably a nobody

A friend posts: "Two reasons I love* eating in the work lunchroom with my male coworkers. Their statements today included:
1) It's a woman's place to make meals
2) Undressing in front of a gay man should weird you out (which moved into 'it's okay to stare at a woman undressing nearby but not for a gay man to stare at you if you did')"

I posted a quote from an article called "If Bernie was Bernadette" that stated if Clinton were a man, she'd win.
A guy on my blog then says "If Clinton were a man, she'd be out of here by now. She's only here because she's a woman" and then provides a few links on how awful she is and says Trump is a better choice. He would vote for Bernie, of course. But Trump is better than Clinton.
I believe I just got politics mansplained hard at me.

Picture of fat disney princesses. On Belle's, one dude goes "looks like the beast got reversed."

Fat Snow White. "She needs to lay off the apples." 

Fat Cinderella: "She'd break that glass slipper on the first step."

"Women feel like they need to dissociate themselves from their gender to be an interesting human being." A quote on saying "I'm not like most girls."

"The history of lesbian representation on television is rocky — in the beginning, we seemed exclusively relegated to roles that saw us getting killed/attacked or doing the killing/attacking. And until the last five or so years, lesbian and bisexual characters seemed entirely unable to date an actual woman or stay alive for more than three episodes, let alone an entire run, of a show. Gay and lesbian characters are so often murdered on television that we have our very own trope: Bury Your Gays. We comprise such a teeny-tiny fraction of characters on television to begin with that killing us off so haphazardly feels especially cruel."

"Flora, Deadwood (2004)
Cause of death: Beaten by a man who then forced a woman to shoot her with his gun"

Lucy Lawless dies as a bisexual or lesbian character A LOT.

Many of the women in the list of lesbians and bisexuals killed off in movies and tv shows are killed violently by men. And a good number commit suicide.

Tweet: Because when girls go to college they're buying pepper spray and rape whistles while boys are buying condoms.

I have systematically been trying to remove "Mothers" and "women" from my talks on pregnancy and periods. People get pregnant. People get periods. It's not hard. Let's stop excluding people from this conversation about pregnancy and periods. Women aren't the only ones with uteruses and vaginas.

"According to the police account of the murders, the two Argentine tourists had run out of money in Ecuador when they met a pair of men who offered them a place to stay. But before the next morning, police say, José María Coni, 22, and Marina Menegazzo, 21, were dead - allegedly murdered by the men they thought were doing them a favour. The bodies were stuffed into plastic bags. Two men have reportedly confessed to the crime.
It might have been a brutal, but sadly all too common crime story. But the story fuelled a larger discussion in the days after the killings, after some of the people commenting online questioned why the women were "travelling alone""

"Often, especially in older works (to the extent that they are found in older works, of course), gay characters just aren't allowed happy endings. Even if they do end up having some kind of relationship, at least one half of the couple, often the one who was more aggressive in pursuing a relationship, thus "perverting" the other one, has to die at the end. Of course, it can also happen to gay characters who aren't in relationships, particularly if they're Psycho Lesbians or Depraved Homosexuals." 

"ECTC removed mentions of OrcaCon from their feed because they viewed it as a "3-day political event that also had some gaming," and Chance stated that they/he viewed GeekGirlCon the same way. OrcaCon, fyi, is a new gaming con held in Everett, WA in January that has an inclusive focus; the theme for 2017, according to their website, isn't dragons or robots or superheroes, but rather "Race and Accessibility in Tabletop Games." OrcaCon wants everyone to be welcome to gaming, even those who historically might not have been -- especially those people, frankly. It is emphatically not a party con, or a fandom con. It is a gaming and panel con, where everyone plays a lot of games and talks about those games and talks about what games do and why they're cool (and sometimes why they aren't, and how to fix that). GeekGirlCon, also held in the greater Seattle metro, is about girls and geeky stuff and gaming. It's a female-friendly space, run largely by women for women (and those who identify as or are even just friendly to women and people in general)."

So guys. Making an inclusive and welcoming space as a mandate and theme for your gaming convention makes it "too political" and other gaming sites will hate you for it.

"Toronto police have released surveillance camera images of a suspect after a woman was attacked and robbed at a Roncesvalles Avenue bank branch earlier this week."

Dude: "what's your favourite flower?"
Chick: "I don't have one but I like daisies."
Dude: "Can I put that on your casket after I murder your pussy"

"“Token women are wheeled out constantly, but just because there is some female presence doesn’t mean we’ve got equality,” writes Alex Holder, executive creative director at Anomaly London, who recently teamed up with director Alyssa Boni of RSA Films to produce this year’s ELLE UK feminism campaign.
The most recent iteration of the annual campaign that began in 2013 is‪#‎MoreWomen‬, which intends to highlight the disparity between men and women in positions of power, both globally and in the UK. By manipulating familiar images of historical moments, often in politics but also in other realms popular culture, Boni erases the many men pictured, leaving only their lonesome—and often singular—female counterparts." 

A woman facing away. Text: "She's someone's sister/mother/daughter/wife" The sister/mother/daughter/wife is scratched out to just say "She's someone."

A post on how women are only valued if related to a man, via being a sister, wife, daughter, etc. A man posts: "nah she's probably a nobody "

"The image of the witch runs deep in feminist and female-centered art. Right now, a potent and fascinating shift is happening in the use of this witchy imagery in pop music.
It's a shift that was typified by Beyoncé's surprise release of the music video for her song "Formation" last month. There are heavy spiritual overtones to several of her personas in the video. In some scenes, she speaks like a visionary from beneath the brim of her black hat. In others, she moves with sinuous elegance atop a New Orleans police car that’s sitting in the middle of a flooded body of water. On her blog Red Clay Scholar, Dr. Regina Bradley describes these roles as Beyoncé embodying “conjuring women.” She asks whether the scene of Beyoncé on top of the police car could be intending to summon Mami Wata, the water deity who could be either a healer or lure travelers to their watery grave. “Conjuring blackness is physical, conceptual, and spiritual,” writes Dr. Bradley. “All three are necessary to make protest and resurrection possible.”"

"I'm here for the girls who unwillingly consented to sex or sexual acts because they were in a situation where they didn't feel as if they had a right to say no and now feel violated but don't feel like they can say they were raped or molested."

Tweet: " You can't be annoyed at feminism for being called feminism when the entire history of the human race is called mankind." 

"I can't believe I lost to a girl." "You let a girl beat you." "I can't lose to a girl!"

After a long discussion on the evils of white privilege, on which we both agree, my client refuses to accept that women have less privilege then men.

Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Day 72: What my rapist was wearing

Tweet: "Rape culture is focusing on 0.3% of rape accusations that turn out to be false, rather than the 90% of rapes that go unreported." 

A woman is asked to remove her hijab at SXSW registration. 

"I'm here to tell women everywhere how now to get raped. Because it's totally our responsibility, right?" A woman says on a video.

"Don't walk alone at night. Don't walk down an alley. If you think you're being followed make three right turns cause that means they just went in a circle. Never run upstairs if you're being chased because that means you could get trapped. Don't stop if you see a car on the side of the road. Here's some nail polish that will help you identify date rape drugs. Or get this adorable yet fierce keychain that can gouge someone's eye out. And on. And on. And on."

on a page about ending rape culture, one dude replies: "so accepting the fact we don't live in a perfect world and taking measures to protect yourself is "absurd" (Won't even go into the fact her advice is to "teach boys not to be rape" and how absurd that sentence is)"

A group of men on a page about ending rape culture say rapists are criminals, and telling criminals not to be criminals doesn't work, so teaching men not to rape won't ever work. 

Watson on gender equality: “We have to do more than help people see the logic [in gender equality] with their minds," she said. "It’s also about making them feel it in their bones. Viscerally, emotionally. This is what changes us, this is what makes us act."

Watson on turning 18: "I remember on my 18th birthday I came out of my 18th birthday party and photographers laid down on the pavement and took photographs up my skirt, which were then published on the front of the English tabloids the next morning. If they had published the photographs 24 hours earlier they would have been illegal, but because I had just turned 18 they were legal. I think that’s just one example of how my transition to womanhood was dealt very differently by the tabloid press than it was for my male colleagues." 

Men complain that women can get abortions.

"Women want equal rights, but not equal reproductive rights. THey want the right to murder a man's child! THat's not equal! That's sexist!"

I just told people for the first time ever that the University I work for recently decided to save money by no longer using/filling/maintaining the pad and tampon machines. Anywhere.

A woman holds up a sign: "no one asks what my rapist was wearing."

A man comment's on the woman's sign. The sign says "no one asks what my rapist was wearing." Here's what the man comments: "Actually, if you file a police report, that IS one of the things they ask. 
But, y'know, that's assuming you do that instead of just holding up a sign."

P!nk releases a comment about women not needing their clothes to come off or to show off tits and ass to have self worth. And that women who don't do that will have pride and self respect. Way to shame women who find empowerment in taking off their clothes?

"Ahead of Captain America: Civil War’s May 6 release, Marvel has launched a program to support girls interested in science, technology, engineering, and math (STEM). The “Girls Reforming the Future Challenge” — supported by the National Academy of Sciences’ Science & Entertainment Exchange — encourages female students ages 15-18 in grades 10-12 to submit videos that demonstrate ideas they feel can change the world."

Emma Watson: "I feel like young girls are told this whole idea that they have to be this kind of princess and be all delicate and fragile and that's bullshit."

"A three-year old girl is the sole witness to the brutal gang rape of her mother and death of her baby brother.
A 28-year-old woman was reportedly attacked on a private bus in Utter Pradesh by two men while her daughter was hiding in the corner.
The pair forced the woman to drink alcohol before the rape occurred, and so she was unable to explain the attack to the police, the Times of India reports.

However, her three-year-old daughter had witnessed the whole ordeal, and told the police what had happened.
There are conflicting reports about exactly what happened to the woman’s 14 –day-old son, with the Times of India saying he was “flung to death by the two assailants”, while The Indian Express said that the boy “reportedly fell from her lap and died”."

Tweet: "men don't see us as human beings, potential friendships. We are sized up for consumption of some sort, then discarded if we don't fit."

"Brock University students responded with frustration and anger following a CBC News investigation that revealed a former student was asked to keep quiet about a report that found her professor gave her alcohol and tried to force himself on her sexually late one night in his office."

An article discusses how Xena and Gabrielle were covertly lesbians because sensors wouldn't let them have an actual lesbian couple. The remake plans to change that. 

Not digging Luna food shaming and fat shaming Serena in Sailor Moon.

" Last summer, I watched with pride as my 4-year-old daughter raised her foot, said a “kee-yaw!” from the bottom of her gut, and kicked the board in half. Her karate teacher, a jolly, encouraging sort, said, “You have a great smile, Grace.” And handed over her new belt, white with a yellow stripe
My heart sank. I started paying attention to what he told the other 15 kids—variations of: “You’re really strong!” “Great attitude!” “You’ve done some great listening!” It was only to the girls he’d offer the “great smile” remark."

"That same week, we’d visited the Glendale Public Library and checked out a simple board book on superheroes. I noticed that all the male superheroes featured were performing feats of strength and showcasing their powers—jumping off buildings, lifting cars, pulling what appeared to be a gigantic oil rig, and the like. The page featuring the solo female, Wonder Woman, showed her pushing a swing with a child in it. I was disappointed to have to explain to Grace that this didn’t count as a superpower. (I mean, parenting is its own kind of superpower, but in a different way.) Why wasn’t Wonder Woman shown in a more heroic light, as the others were? It might have been different if they’d added Batman whipping up some pancakes to make it more fair."

"There’s a kid at my daughter’s preschool I’ll call Lincoln. He’s a wild-minded little man, who had a tendency to tease her until she cried, and also, who pretended to shoot guns at her. I brought him up at the teacher conference, and the teacher understood my concerns, yet defended him. “I wish I could tell you all the hard things that kid has dealt with already in his little life. I have a soft spot for him, he’s really very sweet. I’ll talk to him.”
Shortly after, Lincoln and Grace became friends—to the point where she has a little crush on him. “I love him, and I think he loves me back, but he’s just afraid to show it,” she said. She also says she’s conflicted, as he likes to play weapons, but she knows she’s not allowed to.
This week, as she was going to the toilet, he came into the bathroom and turned off and on the lights. I heard about it after school, and brought it up to the teacher, who said she’d have a talk with the class about boundaries.
I don’t want to referee her friendships. I know kids this age are figuring out what is OK and not OK and they are obsessed with their bodies, and other people’s as well. My talk with Grace was more specific. “I want you to know that he was trying to embarrass you while you were in a vulnerable situation. On the toilet, you weren’t able to get up. Friends don’t try to embarrass each other,” I told her. “There will be times when you’re going to be asked to play guns, or to do things that you know aren’t right. I can’t be here to help you during those times. You have to speak up for yourself.”"

"I didn’t notice microbullshit, or even the macro kind, when I was growing up. I didn’t know that when I was 5, and my mom dropped me off to stay over at some strange kid’s house—his name was Skylar and he was maybe a year or two older, we barely knew this family—that it was not OK for him to spank my bare butt in the dark. I didn’t tell anyone, because I thought that was just how business was done."

"I didn’t know that when I was in corporate America less than a decade ago, presenting my glorious project to a bunch of male colleagues, that I didn’t need to laugh along with them when one remarked that I could now go back to the kitchen. I thought that was just how business was done."

GamerCat's first panel with a girl gamer cat is treated so stereotypically I want to cry.

"Karmenife Paulino, a 22-year-old graduate of Wesleyan University. Raped at a fraternity during her freshman year, she reasserted her sexual agency in a photoshoot entitled “Reclamation,” where she poses as a dominatrix on fraternity grounds."

"...France makes it a crime to judge any child under the age of sixteen on their physical appearance, which I find pretty groundbreaking..."

Day 71: They Look Bad Without It

Paul Gross used to come into the store I worked at and hit on the 17 year old clerk.

Multiple men on the streetcar had legs everywhere today. On seats, in isles, it was madness.

When you play through sexist tropes in game because it's part of the normal culture. 

A friend's character says "nice rack" in game. His character is The Captain from Marvel. His character is sexist. He plays it perfectly. But it still catches me off guard to see my cool friend say a sexist thing. 

in game yesterday, my character was relegated to the girl without agency role when her male best friend got her male ex to go beat up a guy for sleeping with her (to be fair she's a minor and the guy she slept with is an adult but note my character is also a murdering vampire). It wasn't intentional, and we don't usually fall into those tropes, but it was interesting to see happen.

"I can't help thinking about the many young rape victims who have been taught over the course of their young lives that they would be nothing, even less than nothing, if they were to "lose their virginity" before marriage."

Picture of olive oil: "Unless you're olive oil your virginity is no indication of your worth"

"How do boys look good without makeup?"
"Because society hasn't told them they look bad without it."

A woman posts about calling out a family friend who pinched her in the butt and then laughed it off.

A woman posts: "Sucks when random men feel you owe them your personal info just because you exist and they noticed you."

"I saw that one of my male friends liked a post making fun of women and dudes holding up pro-feminism signs and that a lot of guys think this is hilarious."

A woman talks about how at age 12, when she was molested and told someone, they told her she must have done something to cause it to happen.

A woman is told to chill about her street harassment and stalking.

Asian dating ap features woman in historical dress. "Her attire is ancient chinese hot chick/goddess style. Like in those kungfu romance series."

"My dad says women don't like monty python. Reblog if you're a woman and like monty python."

"Fatameh Motamed-Aria is one of Iran’s most famous actresses. But being famous doesn’t mean that all Iranians share love for her. At the screening of a new film that she is acting in, she was insulted by hard-line men who tried to then assault her car."

"The only thing more tedious than "locker-room culture" might be sexist subcultural-gatekeeping. ...actually, it's about ethics being a bitter jerk journalism."

"This is one of the dangers of liberal feminism. What is the point of feminism when we applaud rich white women for cutting the benefits of the poor? Why do we care that Clark "moved heaven and earth" to institute Pink Shirt Day when she and her colleagues in the Legislature routinely reveal themselves to be the worst kind of smug, entitled bullies?"

Tweet: "my public high school spent hours each day policing girls' clothing, and 0 minutes in 4 years discussing consent."

A man defends dress codes in schools: "Guys have a dress code to and it keeps kids from showing up naked like there going to edc and kids shouldn't worry about fashion but there grades . they can be free when there 18 go to college and do what they want"

Tweet: "How about instead of me explaining why I don't find rape jokes funny, you explain why you do find them funny. Go ahead. I'll wait." 

Sunday, March 13, 2016

Day 70: Future Trophy Wife

T-shirt for little girls: Future Trophy Wife

"When Harold Washington College student Anadarith Hurtado submitted his proposal for a research paper to his English Composition 102 professor and Harold Washington Adjunct Lecturer Alonda McCree, it read "In a constitutional land known for equality, justice and freedom for the people, there are a group that seem not to feel the same equality, justice and freedom. That group being transgender individuals that feel their rights are violated day-by-day due to their inner selves born in the wrong body."
McCree returned it with her commentary in red pen. The words "transgender individuals" had been circled along with an arrow to McCree's statement: "These people don't have rights. They choose to be transgender. Pick another topic."" 

"Done told you twice Barbie" A barbie doll with two black eyes.

"tell extremists and feminazis to fuck off."

On a post on rape culture, one man tells women to "toughen up"

I talk with a friend about finding a man to launch my kickstarter since RPGs by women aren't funded as often.

"All a girl really wants is for one guy to prove to her that they are not all the same."

A man comments on women complaining about having to wear sexy outfits for work: "Waitresses and bartenders wear sexy outfits, office workers wear stuffy suits, construction workers wear helmets, doctors wear white coats etc... What's the problem?
Just find the work environment that works for you. I hate wearing suits and ties so I choose to work in places with a more relaxed dress code. "

A woman talks about her experience: "I know most black women at restaurants are forced to wear wigs or weaves or extensions, or are forced to straighten their hair everyday."

About Toronto's Jack Astor's: Agyemfra recently wore her hair in a bun to her job at the chain restaurant, but told CBC News she was sent home by a manager who said it was company policy that female staff must wear their hair down, even though Agyemfra demonstrated her natural hair wouldn't fall straight.

"It’s time for some sobering stats: The U.S. Department of Justice reports that Native American women are 2.5 times more likely to be assaulted than the rest of the American population. And one in three Native women has been assaulted at some point in her life."

More on Tina Fey's newest movie: "Instead, the film only has one female Afghan in a speaking role. As soon as Kim has landed, she’s walking out from the airport and an elderly woman calls Kim a whore in her native language for not covering her hair. Kim doesn’t understand, so her male interpreter (Christopher Abbott) sweetly smiles and translates the comment as “Welcome.” This early scene in the film represents the Afghan woman as contentious and defending traditional gender norms and the male as warm and welcoming."

About Whiskey Tango Foxtrot: "Kim refers to the blue burqa that women must wear in Taliban-ruled areas as a “beautiful Ikea bag.” When she finally puts one on she says, “I feel so pretty, I don’t even want to vote.” In the best of times, this would be a hard joke to pull off. Given the voter fraud and danger Afghans have faced at the polls, it feels off. Once in the car and driving through town, her colleague tells her she’s in “the blue prison now.” She responds, “No one is staring at me. It’s weird.” Her Eurocentric response focuses on the absence of the male gaze, passing up a ripe opportunity to identify with Afghan women. She can’t identify with them because still sees herself as an exception and therefore superior. She thinks she has a choice to put the burqa on."

Fan boys complaining when fandom companies market towards girls.

Tapped poster to a door: "Ok ladies. I get it. You don't want a pleasant evening chat. You don't want a gentleman to walk you to your car. You don't want a friendly dude to help you carry your groceries... or hold open the door for you... or crush the life out of other men that would do you harm. Fine. Fear the good guys.... I guess we'll just have to suffer through watching you get broken over and over by the scum you think you love. But I want you to know -- it's not easy, and it hurts to see you fall. Give the good guys a chance to help you be less afraid of the world."

Got called at from a moving car. Apparently wearing a tank top means I'm showing off.

Man on streetcar won't move to sit forward in his seat. Packed streetcar.

A man explains himself to a woman on tinder. "dude, I was kidding with you. It's a joke. You do know I'm a doctor right? My brain thinks at a much higher level than yours or the average person."

A friend posts: "I'm so grossed out seeing middle age men look 19 year olds up and down on the bus. Just stop it." 

Article on why maternity leave is hard and how people need to stop judging moms.

Caitlyn Jenner says Hillary Clinton is a "fucking liar" and that Trump would be "Good for women's issues."