Sunday, March 6, 2016

Day 65: Date Rape Package

Parents speak out about their birthing experience. 35% of people who go through labour will have birth related PTSD. Break. The. Silence

Image of a woman walking. Text: "don't be impressed by money, followers, degrees and titles. Be impressed by kindness, integrity, humility and generosity."

Officer who raped school teacher calls his punishment injustice.

In the 80's, 37% of sciences graduates were women. Today it's 18%.

"It is not reasonable to expect a trauma survivor – whether a rape victim, a police officer or a soldier – to recall traumatic events the way they would recall their wedding day. They will remember some aspects of the experience in exquisitely painful detail. Indeed, they may spend decades trying to forget them. They will remember other aspects not at all, or only in jumbled and confused fragments. Such is the nature of terrifying experiences, and it is a nature that we cannot ignore."

“When cosplaying as Ariel, a guy asked me ‘If it’s always better, wetter down under.’”

“God bless your beautiful body.”
(After touching my butt.) 


“Do you wear that costume when you fuck?”

“Can I help you adjust yourself?” 
— (I was 16 and in a corset.)


"I had one guy ask me if my boobs were real, to which I replied, “Yes… for the most part,” then he goes, “Can I check… by feeling them?”" 

A female teacher gets fired and slut shamed after a student steals her phone and leaks a naked photo of her.

Black background, white text: McDonald's needs a Happy meal for moms: A bottle of wine, three xanax, and a sleeve of thin mints.
A man comments on it: "Sounds like a date rape package!" 

I'm playing Elsa Bloodstone in a Marvel's game. It took me awhile to find pictures where she wasn't hypersexualized. 

"A friend of mine, working on her Master's, wrote the wrong date down for the final exam. The professor said he was giving a make-up exam on such and such a date. When she went to the make-up exam, there were eight or ten women at the exam, non of whom she'd seen in weeks. She assumed they had dropped the class. When the professor came in to hand out the test, he was nervous and cranky. When he left, my friend found out that every one of the women in the make-up exam had been sent love letters, touched inappropriately, and asked out by him. "

"Ugh. Something similar happened to me in 2013. A man was harassing me via text and email and, because he stayed juuuuuust within the “official line” of how threatening he was legally allowed to be, the cops wouldn’t help. The best they could do was call and tell him to cut it out, which only incensed him and caused the almost-threats to escalate. " 

An article on cyberstalking, one man tells the author (a woman) this: "Not sure how they are gonna show up in the comment, but I’ve highlighted all the times where you could have dealt with the problem, but didn’t. The sooner you nip the problem in the butt, the better. Early on it can be as easy as stating that you have no interest in them. Be as blunt as possible, because when they are seeing the world through rose-colored glasses they won’t catch hints. "

"Between 2010 and 2013 the FBI prosecuted only 10 cyberstalking cases out of an estimated 2.5 million." 

"“There is a very long history of trivializing the harms that are done to women specifically,” Franks said. “That includes everything from domestic assault to rape to stalking.”"

"Even in the rare cases when police recognize that a crime has occurred, officers often don’t know how to investigate. Sometimes cops react with “undisguised hostility,” says Citron. But most of the time they simply shrug off complaints as “no big deal” or imply that people who report cyberstalking should be flattered by the attention."

"I was blown away. “None of it?” I asked. “Over the past three years? What about stalking?” I showed him the letters.
The officer shook his head. It wasn’t a crime because Danny had never “threatened me with physical harm,” he explained."

" I had my doubts about the police. A few months earlier I had watched as a couple of officers successfully dissuaded my neighbor from reporting the physical assault she had just suffered at the hands of her boyfriend. If they wouldn’t acknowledge the bruises that covered her arms, neck and legs, I didn’t have much confidence in their ability to see what Danny was doing to me."

"According to 2014 survey of 4,900 women by the Cornell University School of Industrial and Labor Relations and the nonprofit group Hollaback!, 85 percent of women in the U.S. say they first experienced street harassment before the age of 17, and 50 percent of women under the age of 50 say they have been groped or fondled in the last year."

"Most catcalls, car honks, whistles, or follows made me hate myself. At one point, after moving to New York, I stopped running (my ultimate stress releaser), because of how anxious I felt about being followed. My inadequate responses to these harassers made me question what kind of feminist I was."

"I don’t remember the first time I was street harassed, but I do remember the first time I felt afraid of a man who was harassing me. "

"Men are expected to get laid with hordes of beautiful women, but in turn, these women are shamed for their participation in sex. Primarily, it implies that women who have sex aren't deserving of respect. When this is combined with the idea that men are sexually voracious and don't need to control themselves, you get a dangerous narrative in which men bear no responsibility for their actions, and the consent of certain women is less important than others'"

"Countless books, movies, and TV shows rely on the idea that persistence is key. Rather than taking rejection at face value and moving on, society teaches men to take "no" as a "maybe," and eventually he'll be able to wear a woman down." 

"the tradition of men paying for everything on dates is a subtle sign of rape culture, largely because it's implied that the woman owes him in return. "

"Society teaches us that women's worth is in their sexual appeal, which men are supposedly unable to resist; at the same time, however, we're told that having sex makes us dirty. The end result? A society that normalizes sexual violence against women and blames the victims for the actions of the aggressors" 

On academia and sexual harassment: "Female scientists like me will be solicited for constructive solutions that don’t involve anybody getting fired. Female students will be advised to examine how their own behavior might have contributed, and I will have more than my usual trouble keeping my mouth shut. Human resources offices will issue statements reminding employees that “we do not tolerate such behavior.” These statements will be filed within cabinets already stuffed to bursting with reports of jokes that weren’t funny, of grabbing that wasn’t an accident, of infatuations unwelcome and unwanted. And in the end, science — an institution terminally invested in believing itself honorable — will sort of come close to admitting that it isn’t."

On sexual harassment on science: "The evasion of justice within academia is all the more infuriating because the course of sexual harassment is so predictable. Since I started writing about women and science, my female colleagues have been moved to share their stories with me; my inbox is an inadvertent clearinghouse for unsolicited love notes. Sexual harassment in science generally starts like this: A woman (she is a student, a technician, a professor) gets an email and notices that the subject line is a bit off: “I need to tell you,” or “my feelings.” The opening lines refer to the altered physical and mental state of the author: “It’s late and I can’t sleep” is a favorite, though “Maybe it’s the three glasses of cognac” is popular as well."

Women in science: "Within my own field, physical sciences, the results of this shedding were clear. According to the National Center for Education Statistics, seven B.S. degrees are granted to women for every 10 granted to men; three M.S. degrees granted to women for every five granted to men; one Ph.D. degree granted to a woman for every two granted to men. The absence of women within STEM programs is not only progressive, it is persistent — despite more than 20 years of programs intended to encourage the participation of girls and women." 

A scientist and professor talks about when a student reached out to her about a problem. "Then, a month ago, she wrote and asked me what to do. She forwarded an email she had received from a senior colleague that opened, “Can I share something deeply personal with you?” Within the email, he detonates what he described as a “truth bomb”: “All I know is that from the first day I talked to you, there hadn’t been a single day or hour when you weren’t on my mind.” He tells her she is “incredibly attractive” and “adorably dorky.” He reminds her, in detail, of how he has helped her professionally: “I couldn’t believe the things I was compelled to do for you.” He describes being near her as “exhilarating and frustrating at the same time” and himself as “utterly unable to get a grip” as a result. He closes by assuring her, “That’s just the way things are and you’re gonna have to deal with me until one of us leaves.”"

Female actors read casting calls for female characters, including the overweight and considered unattractive but funny so people like her.


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