Day 54: Sluttiness we teach our daughters

Only 3% of rapists spend a day or more in jail. 

A man says about women are afraid of men when they're raped, and how no one understands this. "This is because it is highly unlikely that it will happen again, and living in fear of half the world population is no way to live. Traumas are understandable, but don't let them define you."

Tumblr: "have you noticed when someone goes 'i was bitten by a dog once and now i'm kinda wary around them' most people go 'aw, i understand' but if a woman says she's been raped/abused by men in the past and is now scared of them she gets told she's paranoid and needs to get over it?"

"Though we’re all aware of the types of roles offered to women in Hollywood, it’s still a little shocking to see it all quantified. Just take a look at the top six occupations for Best Actress and Best Actor winners; you may not gasp at these percentages, but you might shake your head and sink in your chair a little.

Best Actress
Wife (16%)
Entertainer (14%)
Widow (11%)
Blue Collar/Service (11%)
Socialite/Heiress (8%)
Prostitute (7%)

Best Actor
Criminal (13%)
Military (11%)
Entertainer (10%)
Arts and Literature (8%)
Royalty/Nobility (8%)
Blue Collar (7%)"

Much like the death of Michael Brown spurred the discussion of racism in the US and gave rise to the Black Lives Matter movement, in Canada, a turning point in race relations came with the gruesome death of 16-year-old Tina Fontaine who was found dead, wrapped in a plastic bag, floating in the Red River in Winnipeg, Manitoba. After running away from her reserve community of Sagkeeng after her father’s death, Tina Fontaine ended up in the care of Child and Family Services in Winnipeg. The troubled teen would continue to run away, ending up on the harsh streets of the inner-city and it eventually killed her. As the Winnipeg Press reports, homicide investigator Sgt. John O’Donovan called out to the public for help in solving the case."

"Another woman, who Marsalis allegedly raped over the course of a weekend, FedExed him a new pair of sheets after she woke up to find his bed soaked in her period blood. The Jekyll and Hyde-like switch between violence and tenderness can drive victims back to their abusers."

"One woman, whose case was prosecuted, told Self magazine in 2008 that Marsalis greeted her with “good morning” and a kiss after having anally raped her the night before. She agreed to another date."

"The way victims behave after a sexual assault is grossly misunderstood by the public and the legal system. "

"A social media firestorm has erupted after Scaachi Koul, an editor and writer for BuzzFeed Canada, shut down her Twitter account after several days of being slammed with abusive tweets."

"Women Get Called "Angry" While Men Get Called "Passionate""

"A study from 2015 in Law And Human Behavior found that people were far more likely to reject an angry female speaker's reasons than they were to reject an angry male's. And, upsettingly, a 2008 study found that both men and women gave less professional status to women who expressed anger, while men who showed anger were promoted."

"Ever been called an "angry feminist"? I have. It's one of the most-used terms when it comes to feminism; "angry feminism" has been discussed in The Guardian, TIME, MIC and the Huffington Post, all exploring why anger and feminism seem to go together in the public consciousness like Thanksgiving and pumpkin pie. Feminism seems to bring up images of Emmeline Pankhurst's arrest, the myth of 1968 bra-burning (which, by the way, never happened), and that word: anger. Anger everywhere. But to be called an "angry feminist" is demeaning, sexist, and highly offensive, in my seriously furious opinion." 

A woman speaks of her life: "Girls in this region are often taken out of school early to be married a young age. Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) is widely practised although it’s been illegal in Kenya since 2011. And once married, women here have little control over their own lives."

"“I came here with my stepmother when I was 15 years old”, says Judi Lerumbe, now 21. “My father wanted to marry me to a much older man but I was a young girl at the time. I remember how my stepmother refused my father’s wishes. We packed our belongings overnight and left to join the other women of Umoja”." 

"In late January, millions of Afghans watched Arian’s performance on Afghan Star, a wildly popular singing contest modeled on American Idol. As the lights illuminated the 23-year-old singer, one of only two female contestants, it became apparent this wasn’t an ordinary performance. It was a protest. Cloaked in a blue burqa, pulled back to show her face, Arian had smeared on dramatic makeup to simulate a beating. Thick streaks of bloody red paint ran underneath her nose, staining her lips and chin. Black smudges around her eyes resembled swollen bruises.

As she rose to her feet to encouraging whistles from the audience, Arian discarded her burqa, belting out original, metaphorical lyrics lamenting Afghan women’s lack of value in society. At the end, she fought back tears, as the judges, also visibly moved, rose for a standing ovation."

White background, colourful text: "Girls do not dress for boys."

"Slut-shaming rolled into advice, this is a whooper. People used to tell me I should stop having friends with benefits and I've had other friends be told that it was their one-night stands keeping them from being in a relationship. "

"There is no shortage of advice for single women. And I use the term "advice" generously, because normally it's somewhere between a lecture and single-shaming."

"Clinton was the first, and so far the only, first lady to pose for a presidential portrait in pants."

"Female flight attendants at British Airways just spent two years fighting for the right to wear pants on the job—and they finally won. The airline crew’s union, Unite, celebrated the triumph earlier this month, saying, “Female cabin crew no longer have to shiver in the cold, wet and snow of wintery climates, but also can be afforded the protection of trousers at destinations where there is a risk of malaria or the Zika virus.” Good news all around! Unite also declared, “Not only is the choice to wear trousers a victory for equality it is also a victory for common sense.”
But wait. Isn’t the equal right to make the common-sense decision of wearing pants a victory that women had already won? (At British Airways, trousers have been accepted wear for established crew since 2003, but the airline has applied different rules to attendants hired since a set of strikes in 2010.) Why are we still talking about women’s right to pants? Like many of women’s battles, pants-related activism stretches back centuries and continues with no sign of abating in the present day."

"Not even a full 20% of all best picture winners — over 87 years of awards — has starred a woman. That isn't just a disparity, it's a full-blown failure to recognize stories about women. This is maybe unsurprising, however, when one remembers exactly how old and male academy membership is." More on the Oscars.

About the Oscars: "Because the acting categories are split 50-50 — best actor and supporting actor versus best actress and supporting actress — there's an enforced gender parity. This makes the gender gap at the Oscars a little harder to notice at first blush. A closer look, however, reveals how underrepresented women are in nearly every other category.

Take last year's best picture race, for instance. Of the eight nominees, not one was actually about a woman. They were about everything from a boy growing up to Martin Luther King Jr., from a sniper to a mathematician. But all of them were men."

"But then, somewhere in the middle of the post-war 1900s, fashion had a crisis. Could there be trousers for women? How would they look? How would they be shaped? Because fashion is obsessed with slimming women's silhouettes (shocker) pockets started getting cut out of women's pants completely. "

"“He had a gun pointed at my head telling me it was my time to die,” Jessica Ortega wrote as she filled out her petition for a restraining order at the Pierce County Superior Court in Washington on Friday. At 6:15 am on Saturday, her estranged boyfriend Marcos Perea shot her dead."

A woman with acid scars on her face. The text: "Men throw acid on us because men are angry with us for ending relationships and for refusing sexual harassment, sexual exploitation, proposals of marriage, demands for dowry. They throw acid on us for attending schools, for not wearing Islamic veils, for not behaving well, for speaking too much, for laughing loudly."

Tweet: "always remember that in the american legal system a corporation is a person but a woman isn't."

Wendy Williams says of Kesha: “Unfortunately business is business, and it sounds like it’s fair. If everybody complained because somebody allegedly sexually abused them...contracts would be broken all the time...Kesha’s no spring chicken. I mean she’s like, 30 years old?...So she wasn’t stupid 10 years ago and neither was her mother when the sexual abuse—alleged sexual abuse—started, why weren’t they rolling camera on it?”

A man posts: "The sluttiness we teach our daughters to be women is the same that keeps us up at night worrying abt our sons. " 

White background, black text: "The violence we teach our sons in teaching them to Be Men is the same violence that keeps us up at night worrying about our daughters." 

Member of TAG: I love that the policies show up automatically on every event.
Me, in my head: They don't. I do this. I add it. Every. Single. Time.

A village bans single women from using cell phones.