Sunday, February 14, 2016

Day 43: Such wife material

"Our patriarchal society makes strangers -of any gender- think it acceptable to humiliate a woman based on how she woke up that morning and got dressed to please herself."

Zoe Quinn talks about dropping the charges against her ex. "I just hung up from what I hope will be my last phone call with the District Attorney assigned to my case, and I choked back tears as she told me that I’d conducted myself with grace through this whole nightmare. I don’t know why I’m crying. I’m writing this and examining it as I go through the fog of someone with PTSD. I don’t know if the tears are out of frustration of having sunk a year and a half into this awful system for seemingly less than nothing, or if it’s out of relief.

My ex, who we’ll call Creep Throat because seeing his name makes a knot of anxiety rise in my throat, will be notified soon that the charges were dropped, but not why. I’m sure he’ll launch another salvo of flat out lies and spun truths to make it seem like the last year and a half was a byproduct of me “asking for it”, that the courts saw through it, while making him seem like a downtrodden hero of free speech. He managed to do that with previous court dates, leaving out things like a judge flat out stating that she believed he had physically assaulted me during the last time we had sex, and that he’d gone through my friends social media feeds of the day afterward to prove that I wasn’t “acting like a victim” by spending time with friends."

"Such wife material." Line from a man on a dating site.

"You're kinda cute but look a little sickly. I'm not really into dating girls who are sick like that Fault in Our Stars shit so just let me know cutie "

"You know what they say about a girl with big eyebrows? She's got a big appetite for, you know..." 

A man's message to a goth girl on OKCupid. "What the hell is wrong with you? Some friendly advice, watch Skins and learn how to dress, or better yet, pick up an issue of Cosmo"

A woman talks about dressing as an emo/goth for a day: "Everyone from my brother (who I considered my best friend) to the hostess at our favorite Italian restaurant (who sat us in the most hidden, secluded corner of the restaurant despite it being empty) tried their very best to steer clear of me. No eye contact. Snarky smirks. And an overall cattiness that left me emotionally drained after just one day."

Another male comments on the women saying 'nothing's wrong' mentality. "Fuck off you actually believe that? Nothing in the world is more frustrating than when a girl says nothing."

A man comments on women saying 'nothing wrong' is due to systemic oppression with: "Personally i have never ever met a woman with this idiotic mind frame but now that it's on Facebook I'm sure thousands are convinced that's what's wrong with them."

White background, black text: "You know why women often say 'nothings wrong' when something is definitely bothering them. It's because men have been belittling, minimizing and mocking our emotions forever. And we are socialized to be passive and undemanding and selfless as possible, and not to run any risk of bothering or angering a man lest he abandon or hurt us. It's not passive aggression. It's fear." 

A tweet about girls "asking for it" when they wear skimpy outfits.

Picture of a couple, the woman lounging on the man. Text: "You don't have to get me anything for valentine's day."
Below it, a picture of Admiral Ackbar. It says "IT'S A TRAP!" 

Dude responds to the tweet about friendzoning. "Imagine being in love with someone for years who just wants to be friends, and when you say say something about being friend zoned, everyone is an ignorant twat and goes off about you just wanting to fuck her. "

tweet: "imagine thinking that being friendzoned is worse than finding out someone u thought valued u as a whole person just wanted to fuck u."

On the new Lingerie Football League in the UK: "Women's football coaches have criticized the newly-founded league.Tracey Halpin, coach of Denton Phoenix girl’s team, said that the LFL UK sets a rather bad impression for young girls wanting to take up the sport. “I think it is sexist for a number of reasons. Why else would men come and watch women play in their lingerie? It wouldn’t be to watch them play football. It seems like a crazy, crazy thing. I have worked with 30 young girls, I don’t think their parents would be impressed. It doesn't set an impression to young girls this is a reason you should play football. You don’t see any men playing football in their underwear. I would say it brings it all backwards.”"

On a WoC's blog: "The fact is, nearly every time I’ve published something in the last 20 or so years that involves a personal narrative, one or many Angry White Men come out of the woodwork to ask me this question or chastise me for talking while Black or having an opinion while Black AND while being woman appearing." 

Picture of Rosie Riveter. Text reads: "You can always tell who the strong women are. They are the ones you see building each other up, instead of tearing each other down."

Swift's reps respond to the Kanye lyric: "“Kanye did not call for approval, but to ask Taylor to release his single ‘Famous’ on her Twitter account. She declined and cautioned him about releasing a song with such a strong misogynistic message. Taylor was never made aware of the actual lyric, ‘I made that bitch famous.’”"

Kanye's new lyric about Taylor Swift: "I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex
Why, I made that bitch famous
God damn
I made that bitch famous"

“One of the worst career moves a woman can make is to have children,” wrote Claire Cain Miller at the New York Times in 2014. “Mothers are less likely to be hired for jobs, to be perceived as competent at work or to be paid as much as their male colleagues with the same qualifications.”

Article on men and women in academia. "If you are a man, having children will likely improve your career prospects; if you are a woman, having children will almost certainly hurt them. Specifically, if you’re a woman with children in academia, the “baby penalty” means that men with children and childless women are three times more likely to get tenure than you." 

On how Hollywood treats pregnancy: "Not too long ago, even famous women could be realistically pregnant in the public eye. Gestation was a time when the strict and absurd standards of female beauty relaxed, when Princess Diana could go about in a synthetic muumuu. Nowadays, Anne Hathaway feels compelled to out herself on Instagram to scoop the paparazzi stalking her at the beach. Bustle estimates that Hathaway is due in June, yet she looks like she is as far along as Angharad. In other words, she appears to be in her second trimester, and she is. This is shocking only by the fun-house mirror standards of Hollywood." 

"After almost two weeks of grotesque caricature, targeted by hateful vitriol as a traitor to her sex, a Valkyrie in stiletto heels — on incendiary social media, in mainstream commentary by harridans of gender identity polemics — defence lawyer Marie Henein brought it home: There is no refuge in court for dishonesty, no amnesty for colluders in either fact or fiction."

"A Utah committee of all-male lawmakers has voted to keep the sales tax on tampons and other feminine hygiene products despite an international push to remove it."

A variety of comments calling overweight women cows, beached whales, fatties, and the men commenting, being called chubby chaser.

"What are all these fat cows mooing about?" 

A man comments on the topic of fat shaming. "not that EITHER extreme is good, but fat is FAT, UNHEALTHY AND UGLY, just like anorexic is creepy, unhealthy and ugly too. Neither should be accepted or exulted."

A picture of a woman in a bikini walking a dog on the beach. She's got a bottle of water in one hand. The comments range from calling her a bag of bones to telling her to eat a sandwich. The woman is not underweight. "Yuck anorexic gross" one person writes. 

A woman writes: "Yes I am a woman and yes I get angry and it would deeply concern me if you were not given the current state of this world."

Being "like a girl" is an insult. 

Women considered better coders--but only if they hide their gender.

A client talks about how her male doctor pressured her into having a hospital OB birth when she wanted a midwife birth. He used scare tactics. She recalls the birth as horrible.

Fashion photographer imagines cars as supermodels. Women dressed as objects.

 On women in scripts: "For every confused “you’re” and “your,” there’s just as much latent misogyny and sexism in the scripts I read. Women are first and foremost described as “beautiful,” “attractive,” or—my personal blow-my-brains-out-favorite, “stunning.” They’re always “stunning” in a certain dress or “stunning” despite being covered in dirt because they’re a paleontologist—or whatever. I found myself posting to Facebook far too often “here comes another script with our 45 year-old male lead dating a 25 year-old woman,” and decided I was going to keep track of the female character introductions in scripts I read for a few weeks.
I went back and combed through past scripts too, and the patterns were pretty disconcerting. I plan on posting every one that I read, and there are plenty that aren’t offensive, but honestly, most of them have some element—subtle or overt—that plays into latent objectification." 

"Disgraced Canadian radio host Jian Ghomeshi’s sexual assault trial is expected to wrap up today; CBC reports that his defense team has chosen not to put him on the stand. Nor will they call any other witnesses or present any evidence; the trial has focused entirely on the credibility of his accusers."

"The Ted Cruz campaign has pulled an ad after it emerged that one of the actresses appeared in a number of softcore porn flicks.
In the ad “Conservative Anonymous,” members of an Alcoholic’s Anonymous parody meet to complain about having voted for Marco Rubio. “Maybe you should vote for more than just a pretty face next time,” an attractive blonde woman says."

Article on Ghomeshi: "We live in a society steeped in male narcissism, one in which aggression towards women is deeply entrenched in the collective male psyche. Nor is male sexual predation confined to a few “sick” individuals: that we see it portrayed, relentlessly and voyeuristically, in movies, TV shows, and advertising is beyond obvious, except for those mired in denial.
Acknowledging such realities is not “a tremendous slur against men,” as one denial-mired national columnist suggested recently; it is not to label men as “pigs.” It is simply to recognize that Ghomeshi’s reported behaviours arise from a misogynistic culture that degrades and confuses people of all genders. Few men enact extreme hostility, but few are those who do not harbour anti-feminine aggression somewhere in their psyche."

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