Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Day 32: Insert A Bitch Here

Three women in a room. Myself and two friends. My one friend describes a man harassing her on one train, following her to transfer to another train, sitting across from her, then sitting on the same side as her and leering at her, and then getting off at the same stop. She ran home. The other woman describes being followed to the point of needing to call the cops, more than once. She talks about how often she gets off of a train to wait for the next one to get away from harassment. Last week a man intervened in her being harassed by a "guy who sounded like he was from Seven." I discuss the men who used to watch me unload trucks at Pet Valu and the amount of harassment I got. The first woman mentions to the second woman that she had seen someone try to get into the building after the second woman when she and her partner had dropped the second woman off. All of us make a face about how sketchy that is.

Stalker jokes.

Man talks about his friend's experience. "I was chatting to a female acquaintance at a gig a while ago and she told me that virtually not a day went by when she wasn't subject to some form of harassment on her journey home. Ranging from the low-level irritating intrusions of privacy and personal space right up to verbal abuse and outright threats."

More on dealing with men on the train. "We’ve all been bothered by persistent guys who pester us relentlessly, believing themselves to be entitled to our company and more. We’re under pressure to be polite and manage their expectations. Ignored men are angry men, and it’s horrible to sit silently while a man shouts at a packed carriage: “She thinks she’s too good to talk to me!”
When it comes to responding to harassers, you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t – and sometimes it gets to the point when dealing with entitled idiots is so exhausting that you feel safer staying at home."

"My Mum once told me her biggest regret was that she’d brought her daughters up to be so polite. It happened after one of my little sisters came home in tears. A “friendly” man at the train station had started making comments about her legs and asking if she had a boyfriend. “I really wanted to ignore him, but I didn’t want to be rude! I didn’t know what to do!” she wept. She was 14 at the time." A woman writes about the British train system.

Black and white photo of a shark. It's mouth is open wide. Text inside the mouth reads: "Insert a bitch here."

Black background. Purple text: "A woman does not have to be modest to be respected."

Article on women and heart attacks. "Take it from me: the only thing worse than a heart attack is being misdiagnosed and sent home from hospital while you’re having it. And for women in particular, this is a tragically all-too-common reality. Research on cardiac misdiagnoses reported in The New England Journal of Medicine(1), for example, looked at more than 10,000 heart patients (48% of them women) who had gone to their hospital Emergency Departments with chest pain or other significant heart attack symptoms. Women younger than 55 were SEVEN TIMES more likely to be misdiagnosed and turned away from the E.R. than their male counterparts.
The consequences of this reality for women were enormous: being sent home from the hospital in mid-heart attack doubled their chances of dying."

"I rarely run into blatant sexism, but with doctors it's common. My concerns are dismissed with one or more of the following: 'It's all in your head.', 'There is no such thing.', 'Other people do fine.' 'Smile! You look prettier when you smile!' Being dismissed by a surgeon has left me with permanent nerve damage in my leg. When I complained he said,'Well, you can still go shopping!'"

A man shares the story of his partner: "A hospital nearly killed my fiance in 2004 in a similar fashion.
She had severe abdominal pain. For god knows what reason, although they knew she was on depo-provara, they obsessed about the possibility that she might be pregnant and did practically nothing to help her until hours later. \
When I brought her in, she was in pain, but had been functioning at work etc. and had some pain for days prior, so if they'd dealt with it expeditiously she probably would have been right in a couple of days.

A few hours later somebody came in and gave her an antibiotic pill or two. That was around 1 pm, I'd brought her in at 10 a.m.
By the time they started treating the infection seriously, she was pale, cool and clammy, which for somebody trained in first aid as I was, told me she was going into shock.
That was around 5 pm, when the doctor started to look alarmed and finally got her on I.V. antibiotics.
It took months for her to recover, and that was completely avoidable if they had treated extreme abdominal pain like the lights and sirens kind of medical emergency it is supposed to be treated like. That's the first aid protocol for such a situation, extreme abdominal pain can be from multiple life threatening conditions that can neither be verified nor treated in the field, get the person to hospital code 3 (or if close, as she was, just take her straight there)."

Yet another talking about her health care experience. "They told her she was ovulating, patronized her and told her husband how so many women come in and they usually are overly dramatic about their cycle aches and pains, and sent her home despite her telling them she felt as if something was really wrong inside and that it wasn't even time to be ovulating. She begged them to do further testing as her fever was rising. But nope, it was that crazy woman hysteria and ovulation according to them.
She was brought back a few hours later in septic shock in the back of an ambulance, and she spent a couple of weeks on antibiotics in ICU fighting for her life. "

Another woman talks about her experience in health care: "My daughter was told over and over, mostly by male doctors, that there was nothing wrong with her; that her pain was all in her head. She was also accused of drug-seeking. After exploratory surgery, it turned out she had massive internal scar-tissue buildup from the removal of an ovary several years ago. I'm glad she persisted until she found a doctor that took her seriously. I had the same thing happen years ago when a male doctor told me my stomach pain was all in my head. I saw a female doctor and she immediately said, "sounds like your gallbladder." It was, and it was removed. I hate to sound sexist, but I'll only see a male doctor as a last resort."

A doctor told a woman with symptoms she was just a woman with anxiety. He told students this as well. Here's what happened next: "It happened in the big snowstorm of '16, being picked up by firemen and transported over snow and ice to an ambulance that couldn't get to our house in the snow. And then into an ER, elevated troponin levels, T-wave inversions on my EKG, suddenly things started happening very quickly, and an overnight stay, then a transfer to a larger hospital, then a heart catheterization that was almost turned into bypass surgery because of the 90 percent blockage in a main artery, then an unfortunate, big bleed that has left me flat on my back for the past 38 hours.
Yeah, that sounds just like anxiety.
And the sad fact is that I waited. I waited because I felt shamed into feeling like an hysterical female, shamed into feeling like I was just anxious. JUST anxious. Like anxiety itself is something that isn't real when we know that it is. Like anxiety is something to be ashamed of or embarrassed by. When our lives, bodies, souls, are in distress, anxiety is a likely outcome. Wear it proudly. It might save your life one day, and it can be treated, too."

On sexism in health care: "The doctor came in after a bit and explained things more thoroughly with this new audience, teaching while not listening, rather than just not listening.
We talked for a while. And then the bottom line, as the doctor talked to the med student.
"What we really are dealing with here is anxiety. Because it is anxiety that would take her to the ER on a Saturday with what might be a blood clot. Most people would wait until Monday and call here to get an appointment, but she went to the ER. This is just anxiety we need to be treating."
"HELLO? I AM SITTING RIGHT HERE," I thought to myself.

"Who wears the pants. Unfortunately, however, the phrase relies on some very gendered notions of what it means to "wear the pants." In this sense, "wearing the pants" refers to being the dominant person in the relationship and making decisions."

Another from the phrases that are misogynistic. "But you're too pretty to cry. This phrase is often meant to a compliment, but is actually much more nuanced and problematic. First, it relies on the idea that women are "supposed" to be pretty. From there, it relies on the idea that women should be valued on their level of perceived attractiveness."

Article on common phrases that are misogynistic. ""Whipped" is pretty common in our vernacular, and breaks down into two usages. "P*ssy whipped" is a phrase we often hear in reference to a man who is controlled by his female partner's sexual wiles. "Whipped" can also refer to a partner, usually a male, being more submissive and dependent, because the female partner is controlling, bossy, and domineering. This phrase hinges on the idea that if a woman is in charge, she's taken on the negative traits typical of male leaders, while the man in the relationship is afraid of standing up to her. Of course, this stereotype also hurts men, as it implies that if men are not in dominant roles, they are weak or inept."

Picture of Stan Lee. Text: "When asked if online comics would replace actual books, Stan Lee said: 'Comics are like boobs. They look great on a computer, but I'd rather hold one in my hand.'"

Woman using a kettlebell. Text: "Lifting weights makes women huge. FALSE. Cupcakes make women huge."

Also apparently my links to how there was sexism in suicide squad were "dishonest"

Calling a celebrity a rapist after there is heavy documentation about it is apparently making a rape joke.

I talked about how the social media on DC being busier than Marvel's was also partly due to the fact that people are saying a lot of bad things too. I give examples, mentioning how Enchantress is sexist (her costume). I post links about this because a man said I was wrong. He said the author was forwarding a feminist agenda and dismissed it, so I linked another. The man who has the thread said "Thanks for playing" and deleted my comment thread.
I was literally just silenced for having an unpopular opinion about something they were excited about.

This was the post about sexism in DC' Suicide Squad. The man who's thread it is deleted everything I said.

A man replies to my articles on Enchantress being sexist in the new DC Suicide Squad movie by saying the writer of the article is just trying to forward her agenda.

Basically got told to stop talking when I pointed out problematic content in DC's Suicide Squad, being that Enchantress' costume is problematic and the multiple accusations of rape against Leto.

See-Scape has a naked woman with tubes attached to her by the bar and a wall of Heavy Metal magazines... basically sexually posed women on an entire wall.

A movement to make a safe ride program for Indigenous women.
"I got tired of hearing what’s happening with taxis with our indigenous people, especially the women, and enough’s enough now. It was time to do something about it. I made my post and it’s been crazy ever since," Flett said. He said he doesn’t trust taxis for his own four daughters.

A girl in India is raped.
"Police arrested the accused, identified as Shambhu Mahato, on Monday morning from a locality of the steel city, about 130 km from capital Ranchi.
Police also detained 12 fellow security guards, including a woman, for allegedly helping Mahato to flee after committing the crime at the Mahatma Gandhi Medical College and Hospital (MGMCH).
Police said the 13-year-old victim was admitted to the hospital on Saturday after she was allegedly raped by a teenager in the Parsudih area of the city on January 26.
At the hospital, the security guard allegedly accompanied her to the bathroom and raped her, police added. The incident took place at around 7 pm."

Hillary Clinton's viability as president and representative of women's rights, despite decades of working with women to forward equality and equal rights, routinely goes under question because of her partner. “I don’t blame Hillary Clinton at all for this. I don’t think she’s responsible for his behavior. But I do think her position as promoting women’s rights and fairness to women in the workplace, that if Bill Clinton did, any CEO in our country did with an intern … in their office, they would be fired. They would never be hired again.” [about Bill Clinton’s affair with his intern Monica Lewinsky.] “She can’t be a champion of women’s rights at the same time she’s got this that is always lurking out there, this type of behavior, so it’s difficult.”

A discussion on DC being bigger in social media feed than Marvel right now. I bring up the problematic nature of Enchantress' costume. Dude replies that she looks awesome.

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